L.I.F.T. Program for Girls

Part II:  Teen Pregnancy

Written by guest blogger, Karan J., 18 years old. Visit her blog at http://dancinginthecity.tumblr.com/

By now, many of us have seen at least one episode of the MTV show 16 and Pregnant. Although, it makes a decent show, it unfortunately does not show the complete reality of having a baby.

Did you know that there are many ways to prevent pregnancy?

34% of young women become pregnant once before they are 20 years old, that is about 820,000 pregnancies a year in the United States. Luckily, the rate of teen pregnancy has been steadily declining since 2002 because contraceptives have started to be utilized more.

Contraceptives include, but are not limited to, condoms and birth control.

Condoms are 99.9% effective, but you will be surprised how that .1% can change your life. If you are sexually active, PLEASE make sure the condom isn’t expired. Also, make sure the condom doesn’t have any holes in it prior to, during, and after sex.

Remember this: If a guy tells you that having sex with a condom does not feel good and it feels better without a condom, he is just using you and he doesn’t love you. It’s better to protect yourself, always.  Sex should be with someone you love and plan to be with for the rest of your life.

Also remember: A sexually active teen that does not use any contraceptives has a 90% chance of getting pregnant within one year. If you think you may be pregnant at any point, take a pregnancy test to be sure (tests can be purchased from a local drug-store) , consult a trusted adult, and see a doctor.

IF YOU ARE PREGNANT:

You still have options. Some girls that become pregnant still go and do great things. Don’t think that just because you are pregnant you can’t get an education, graduate from high school, go to college, etc.

It helps to inform someone close to you that you are pregnant. No one should have to go through it alone. Tell your parent(s). Yes, they may be upset, but if you come to them with a plan, they will see that you are trying to be responsible. If keeping the child to raise as your own is not an option, consider adoption. There are many couples unable to have children who would greatly benefit from it. Speak with a trusted adult before choosing this option though.

Some teens are turning to abortion. Yes, this is a controversial topic. No, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. If you do this, make sure you can live with the consequences. Make sure you have someone with you who can stand by your side and support you. Many girls do not know that it costs a good bit of money to get an abortion.

In the first trimester the cost for an abortion ranges from $300 to $950. The price gets higher in the second trimester. In June 2010, 36 states in the US require that a parent or guardian sign for a minor to get an abortion.

If you are pregnant and keeping the child, brace yourself for judgment. It’s sad how people are these days, but just know that you are not alone. There are many programs for teen mothers. Some programs help even more if you are still in school. Keep in mind that it costs money to raise a child. It costs about $200,000 to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. Make that your motivation to finish school and get a well paying job. Just because you have a child doesn’t mean your life isn’t over. It’s just opening a new chapter, so make the most of your life and take opportunities that can advance your life!

In the end, when it is all said and done, make sure you protect yourself in the future, whether through abstinence or contraceptives, such as condoms and birth control.

Statistic Sources:  PlannedParenthood.org, PregnantTeenHelp.org, FamilyFirstAid.org, Guttmacher.org
View Part I of the “Let’s Talk About Sex…or No Sex” series here — Part I Virginity and Celibacy: Let’s Wait a While

Girls just want to have fun, but life is more worth-while when you can have fun and also fulfill a purpose or goal in the process.

Being well-rounded, meaning, well-developed in different things, is a good quality to possess because you add new accomplishments and titles to your name, meet a variety of people from being involved in a variety of things, learn new things, expand your education and hobbies, and create an overall better life for yourself.  To become well-rounded, make a list of all things you are interested in and learn about them or become involved in them.

Love listening to music?  Learn to make music by taking voice lessons or learning to play an instrument. Always wanted to know how your mom makes that amazing apple pie from scratch, ask her and start a bake-sale with her or take general  cooking classes to learn how to make other things so you can sometimes help your mom when she’s cooking.  Ever wanted to star in a runway fashion show?  Sign up for modeling classes.  Want to make a difference in your community?  Work with an adult to start a petition to change things you think are not right, volunteer at a place in your community, start a clean-up group for the neighborhood, or attend your neighborhood meetings to share some ideas you have to improve the neighborhood.

Change yourself and change the world by becoming involved in a range of amazing activities and groups. The possibilities are endless!  Here are a few ideas for hobbies to get you started in becoming a well-rounded you:

• Learn to play an instrument
• Get cooking lessons
• Take voice lessons
• Sign up for acting classes or take theater classes
• Take art lessons
• Sign up for the spelling bee
• Sign up for the science fair
• Learn to play chess and join a chess club
• With the help of an adult, invent a product or service and sell to others
• Take dance classes
• Join the choir
• Sign up to play a sport
• Join the cheerleading or dance squad of your school
• Take a class in film-making
• Take Advanced Placement (AP) and Honors classes for a more enriched education
• Sign up for other college prep classes and/or study harder on college exam prep tests to further your intellect
• Attend a summer camp of your choice
• Join the Girl Scouts
• Join an organization at school
• Learn how to sew, knit, or quilt by taking a class
• Blog about your favorite topics
• Take a creative writing class to write a book, short stories, or poetry
• Start your own group or organization related to your interests
• Become involved in your school’s student government

Being a leader means guiding others to a common goal and having others follow your example.  Each of us leads in some way in our life, whether for better or worse.  A good leader is what you should aim for, because a good leader truly makes a big difference in the world around them and leads others to a good outcome, not one that leads to chaos and negativity.

To become a good leader, first, you must know yourself and what leadership style works best for you.  Are you shy?  Perhaps you want to take small steps to lead others like being the first to raise your hand when no one else volunteers to answer a question in class. Are you very talkative, perhaps you can be the spokesperson for a school organization or become a debate team captain.

Sometimes, a leader has to make tough decisions that others would not normally make so learn how to decide what’s right and what’s wrong for the cause you are leading.  Write out an action plan with ways to get started on leading others to what you feel is right. Also, every leader must communicate well with others and learn the audience you intend to lead by listening well to their wants and needs as well as explaining clearly to them how you can help give them what it is they want and need.  There must be something about you that is likeable so others would want to follow you, so tap into your good qualities and let them shine for others to see. All of these traits will help you work well with others.

Following the example of a good leader can also give you a clearer picture on how to lead others well. You can find positive female leaders to learn from in your own home, school, or neighborhood.  There are also many good female leaders in the media for you to take note of:

First Lady Michelle Obama leads initiatives such as the “Let’s Move” campaign, to encourage kids like you to exercise for your health in order to fight childhood obesity.

Hillary Clinton led the way for other women to want to run for president.

Media mogul, Oprah Winfrey teaches girls and women alike to become involved in activities important to them and encourage others to do the same.  Oprah manages her own television network called OWN where she make decisions on what TV  shows to play on her network, and encourages people to better themselves  through watching the inspirational shows on her network. She also influences others by supporting certain movies or books so others may, in turn, support them as well.

The second female Prime Minister of New Zealand, Helen Clark, was voted 20^th most powerful woman in the world by Forbes Magazine in 2006 because she led the people of New Zealand just by supporting positive causes, such as Earth Hour, as an endeavor to get many people to reduce energy consumption to protect the environment.

For further inspiration on female leaders, please check out The World’s 100 Most Powerful Women listed by Forbes at http://www.forbes.com/wealth/power-women. Also, try to attend the next Junior National Young Leaders Conference to meet other young leaders and shape your own leadership skills; you can find more information about the conference on their website at http://www.cylc.org/jrnylc/.

Last year, First Lady Michelle Obama started the “Let’s Move” campaign, a campaign, aimed at reducing childhood obesity.  The campaign is done in part due to the many health issues that can stem from obesity, such as diabetes, heart attacks, high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels, etc.

According to ABC News, the average American now carries 23 extra pounds.  To avoid being part of this statistic, simply make sure you do some type of physical activity everyday, such as jogging, playing a sport, skating, hiking, riding a bike, and dancing.

If you find that these physical activities are too much or seem boring, try throwing a little music into the mix.  Dancing is a great way to burn calories, build your strength, get your energy going, and have fun. Entertainer, Beyonce, recently released a remix of her hit song “Get Me Bodied” called “Move Your Body,” for the “Let’s Move!” campaign.  The video features Beyonce doing some of the latest dances in a cafeteria of a school with everyday students.  Not a good dancer?  That’s ok. The moves in the video are repetitive and can easily be done. If you miss a step, simply rewind the video to try again.

So, what are you waiting for?  Get up now, watch Beyonce’s video below, and move your body to be healthy!

Warning:  As fabulous as it seems, do not try this in heels as Beyonce did because you could fall and hurt yourself.  To be safe, wear comfortable tennis shoes.

Some natural resources, such as clean water, are not easily available to people in other countries (see video below regarding this). Supplies such as bottles, paper, etc are needed but many of us throw away these supplies everyday.  Some resources we use everyday can be saved, recycled, and reused to help others. Here are some ways you can shorten your usage of resources and energy to save you money, time, and perhaps someone else’s life.

• Do not litter or throw trash on the ground.  If you have trash, keep it until you can throw it away in the nearest trash can.  Trash can build up overtime, and if left in on the ground, can create an unpleasant smell and look to the outside.  The bulk of trash ends up in land fills which can leak toxic substances into the air, soil, and water that we use.  Reducing the amount of trash produced can also reduce this issue. Below are more steps on how to reduce your amount of trash and other things.
• Reuse paper or plastic bags you already have or simply purchase a large, expandable shopping bag to take with you every shopping trip so extra plastic and paper bags will not need to be used
• Reuse bottles or cups you drink from instead of using a new bottle, plastic cup, or foam cup each time
• Take used plastic bottles, paper, and cans to your local recycling center.  Find a recycling center near you here: http://www.recyclingcenters.org/
• Take shorter showers and turn off the water at the faucet when it is not being used

Energy Savers

• Turn off the lights in a room and open a window to let in natural light
• Turn off the air conditioner and open a window or go outside to enjoy a nice, cool breeze from natural air
• Turn off home appliances that are not being used such as lights, computers, TVs, gaming devices, etc.

Video feature produced in the UK in 2006 to mark WaterAid’s 25th birthday — Wateraidamerica.org

If you’re a teen with a car, by now, you’ve probably heard the phrase “Don’t drink and drive.”  Well, there’s a new phrase that’s just as important to remember, “Don’t text and drive.”

Doing anything else behind the wheel, instead of just driving, can be a distraction to you on the road. Believe it or not, texting and talking on the phone can be just as dangerous and deadly as it is to drive after drinking alcohol.  Doing so can be one small mistake which can easily take someone’s life and your own.

Some states actually have laws against using your cell phone while driving.  Just think, if your mind is focused on the conversation you’re having with your friend on the phone or the text you are looking down at your phone to read, how can you notice everything around you on the road?

If you see a family member or friend driving while using their phone, please remind them that it is dangerous and encourage them not to do so.  And always remember to wear your seatbelt while driving, even if you’re simply driving one block away.  It can truly save your life. Watch the following video about how using your cell phone while driving can affect you:

Part 1 – Virginity and Celibacy:  Let’s Wait a While

Being a virgin doesn’t sound cool. Almost everyone is having sex and it seems they enjoy it. Here’s how it starts: The really cute guy you like finally asks you out and invites you to his place, whispers nice things in your ear, tells you “You’re beautiful,” touches you in places you rarely let anyone go, moves in closer, sleeps with you, then the next thing you know, you’re pregnant, he’s gone (possibly on to the next girls), and you’re all by yourself as a child trying to take care of another child with little or no money, and trying to finish school with little or no time to do so.

This isn’t always what happens and it doesn’t have to be you, but it could be how it happens and it could be you. A few moments of sexual pleasure is simply not worth a life-time of pain and heartache. Choosing to have sex with someone who does not love you, or has not chosen to make a commitment to you as a life partner, is very risky. There’s an easy way to avoid teen pregnancy and getting a sexually transmitted disease that is a lot safer and protective than condoms and birth control – abstinence. Abstinence is choosing, for any purpose (religion, culture, or just personal life-style decision), to not take part in certain bodily activities that give you pleasure. Unfortunately, some girls may have lost their virginity through rape, and if this is the case for you, please do not worry or feel bad in any way. You’re not alone. You can still make the personal decision again to go without sex.

Yes, the safest sex is no sex and safe sounds much cooler than unsafe. Just because your friends talk about having sex doesn’t mean they are having it, and even if they are, you don’t have to follow them and do the same. Being like everyone else can become boring, so why not do something different like waiting to have sex until you’re married or until you are an adult who makes a sound, pre-meditated, pre-discussed decision with another adult you are in a long-term relationship with, to have sex.

Do you have your own job or stable income to support a family? Do you have your own home where a family can comfortably live? Do you know the sexual history, family members, upbringing/background, and future aspirations of the person you are planning to lie down and have sex with? Are you willing to possibly be with this person your entire life? Are you emotionally and physically ready to endure any inner and outer pain that you may have to endure? If you answered “no” to any of these questions, you may not be ready to have sex with that person.

Your friends are doing it, and the guy you like threatened to leave you or never date you if you don’t have sex with him. So what! What’s the rush? If the guy you like really cares about you, then he’ll care enough to respect your decision to not have sex too early. You have nothing to lose but yourself, so don’t easily lose yourself, or something that you cannot take back, like your virginity. You’re worth more than that. Think twice about it.

Sex may feel much better as an adult after the wait and both people in a committed relationship can appreciate the experience more. Virginity isn’t just about religious choice; it’s a lifestyle — an easy way to guard your body, your heart, and your health. With so many sexual images and sexually-driven conversations going on around you, it may be hard to stay focused to not have sex yet, so here are some tips:

1) Having sex or not having sex is your choice, so don’t let what others say influence you the wrong way or make your choice for you. Keep people around you who are positive and support your decision to not have sex.

2) First, find out what a guy’s intentions are before you spend too much time with him. Secondly, let a guy know soon and upfront that you do not want to have sex and are saving yourself (for what ever reason it may be). Stand your ground and do not be persuaded if he tries to tempt you to still have sex.

3) Pray for strength against the temptation to have sex. It may also help to pray about this with your date.

4) Don’t put yourself in situations in which you will be encouraged or tempted to have sex, such as spending a lot of alone-time together, going into his bedroom or home, lying next to him, or touching in a sensual way.

Being a virgin may not sound cool, but it is cool. It doesn’t mean that you can’t like a guy; Check out Facebook groups that promote abstinence: Abstinence at http://tinyurl.com/448b39j and Abstinence Equals Freedom at http://tinyurl.com/3dkhpzq. Also, early 2000’s R&B girl group, TG4’s music video entitled “Virginity” discusses this. So, next time a cute guy asks you out and tries to make a move on you, it’s cool to say, “Let’s wait a while.”

Please be sure to check back next week for Part 2-4 in the Lets Talk About Sex or No Sex series which will cover Protection and STDs, Teen pregnancy, lies boys tell to get you in bed, and more.

Please be sure to check back next week for Part 2-4 in the Let’s Talk About Sex… or No Sex series which will candidly cover protection and STDs, teen pregnancy prevention, lies boys tell to get you in bed, and more.